I got contacts on Friday, and yesterday was my first full day with contacts. A couple of thoughts:
1) How do I get those goddamn scars off the bridge of my nose? I've tried rubbing the dead skin out, and it's fading, but it's still annoying. I figured that 9 years of damage (wow I've had glasses for almost half of my life...) would be difficult to negate anyways...
2) For the past 9 years, when I've taken my glasses off, it meant I was going to sleep. So naturally, when my glasses are off, I'm just more tired. Plus, I think my eyes aren't used to the strain of having to look at the sun directly and whatnot, so it makes my eyes even more tired. I wonder how long it's going to take for my eyes to get used to the contacts...
3) It takes a very clean, organized person to maintain a pair of contact lenses. I wonder if I'll be that way with my hard lenses during my 2-week hard stint (I intend to use soft lenses whenever I need them, and glasses otherwise). Actually, scratch that, I know I'm going to mess up at some point, I'm just curious about when it'll be.
Cheers
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
My reason.
I was doing fine in school in first year, and I was doing okay for the first bit of second year. However, I lost all motivation to succeed in October 2010, when I received a co-op job offer. My peers told me that as soon as I got this job, my life was set, and I could coast through the rest of my courses, as long as I got a 75 average. It didn't matter anymore if I got 70's or 90's, because all I had to do was perform adequately at work, and I'd receive a return offer for the rest of my co-op terms and after I graduate.
So I settled for mediocrity. And there I was 7 months later with a 50 on my transcript, and still lacking real motivation to succeed. I'm not sure why I'm doing what I'm doing, nor am I sure whether I really enjoy my job right now. All I know is that something's wrong with me, and I'm not the keen, eager-to-learn student I was in first year.
That was until this afternoon. I've been thinking about my future for the past couple of months now, and I realized how quickly I ended up in the job I currently hold. I still wonder why I chose the profession I did, and to be honest, I can't really provide myself with a sufficient explanation anymore.
I went for coffee with my mentor today, one of the people I have the most respect for out of everyone I know, and someone who I find has quite similar views and perspectives as I do. He asked me where I wanted to be at 35. For a split second, I was stumped, unsure how to approach his question. I regained my composure after thinking for a bit, and told him my answer. As I was telling him, I instantly realized that it was virtually unattainable in the path I'm currently on, and needless to say, he told me I have to do something else to accomplish my long-term goals.
Anyways, I'm happy to say I have finally found a reason to wake up in the morning. I have a very clear idea of what I want to do with my life. I have more motivation than ever before to work hard and persevere, as irritating as statistics and business law may be. And I know that this time around, I'm doing exactly what I need to do to achieve my wildest dreams.
Here I stand today, one step closer to ruling the world.
So I settled for mediocrity. And there I was 7 months later with a 50 on my transcript, and still lacking real motivation to succeed. I'm not sure why I'm doing what I'm doing, nor am I sure whether I really enjoy my job right now. All I know is that something's wrong with me, and I'm not the keen, eager-to-learn student I was in first year.
That was until this afternoon. I've been thinking about my future for the past couple of months now, and I realized how quickly I ended up in the job I currently hold. I still wonder why I chose the profession I did, and to be honest, I can't really provide myself with a sufficient explanation anymore.
I went for coffee with my mentor today, one of the people I have the most respect for out of everyone I know, and someone who I find has quite similar views and perspectives as I do. He asked me where I wanted to be at 35. For a split second, I was stumped, unsure how to approach his question. I regained my composure after thinking for a bit, and told him my answer. As I was telling him, I instantly realized that it was virtually unattainable in the path I'm currently on, and needless to say, he told me I have to do something else to accomplish my long-term goals.
Anyways, I'm happy to say I have finally found a reason to wake up in the morning. I have a very clear idea of what I want to do with my life. I have more motivation than ever before to work hard and persevere, as irritating as statistics and business law may be. And I know that this time around, I'm doing exactly what I need to do to achieve my wildest dreams.
Here I stand today, one step closer to ruling the world.
Cars, Guns, and Explosions
I watched Fast 5 last night with a couple of friends.
Needless to say, there were a lot of cars, guns, and explosions. And hot women too.
When we got back home, the girls asked us about the movie. We told them it was awesome (and it was), and when they asked us why, we weren't really sure how to answer. Our feeble attempt at explaining it to them led to an interesting discussion about chick flicks, but I won't go into that.
Anyways, it got me thinking about why I love action movies. As long as it has some recognizable plotline, I will always love a movie filled with cars, violence, hot chicks, and explosions, and I've realized why. (Sorry Michael Bay, that means Transformers 2 sucked even based on my weak standards)
Guys like fantasizing about stuff they wish they could do. Typically, this entails a lot of illegal activity, like stealing police cars, taking part in fast-paced street races and car chases. Often, it also entails doing very unrealistic tasks like defeating the rulers of the black market, pulling off amazing car stunts, and blowing shit up in the process.
For me in particular, it's not even the explosions that draw me to action movies. As soon as things start to liven up, I get this HUGE adrenaline rush, that just continues until the end of the movie. That's why every time I watch a Fast movie, I feel like trying to drift with my Chevy Cobalt, and everytime I watch a Transporter movie, I consider leading an underground life as a trafficker of items. Hell, as a kid, I did research about how to become a CIA agent after watching Agent Cody Banks, so I've been doing this for a while.
Anyways, hopefully my future ramblings are more relevant than this one.
Needless to say, there were a lot of cars, guns, and explosions. And hot women too.
When we got back home, the girls asked us about the movie. We told them it was awesome (and it was), and when they asked us why, we weren't really sure how to answer. Our feeble attempt at explaining it to them led to an interesting discussion about chick flicks, but I won't go into that.
Anyways, it got me thinking about why I love action movies. As long as it has some recognizable plotline, I will always love a movie filled with cars, violence, hot chicks, and explosions, and I've realized why. (Sorry Michael Bay, that means Transformers 2 sucked even based on my weak standards)
Guys like fantasizing about stuff they wish they could do. Typically, this entails a lot of illegal activity, like stealing police cars, taking part in fast-paced street races and car chases. Often, it also entails doing very unrealistic tasks like defeating the rulers of the black market, pulling off amazing car stunts, and blowing shit up in the process.
For me in particular, it's not even the explosions that draw me to action movies. As soon as things start to liven up, I get this HUGE adrenaline rush, that just continues until the end of the movie. That's why every time I watch a Fast movie, I feel like trying to drift with my Chevy Cobalt, and everytime I watch a Transporter movie, I consider leading an underground life as a trafficker of items. Hell, as a kid, I did research about how to become a CIA agent after watching Agent Cody Banks, so I've been doing this for a while.
Anyways, hopefully my future ramblings are more relevant than this one.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Let's get this started again.
I decided to start blogging again. I figured it would be fun, and I also realized how neat it is to read some of my older blogs and laugh at how silly or interesting some of my ideas were at the time.
It's slightly funny that I thought LeBron was going to the Knicks back in July, and now 9 months later, he's playing for Miami (alongside Bosh and Wade) in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Bulls, another one of the teams I thought he was likely to join.
I still wish he stayed with Cleveland, they have some young pieces that are now starting to blossom, and maybe LeBron could have helped facilitate that. Anyways, he didn't, so no point in thinking too much about it. GO BULLS!!!
Anyways, I'll probably be posting at lot here, hopefully daily even. And it'll be about a whole bunch of random topics, depending on what's important to me at the time. So enjoy!
It's slightly funny that I thought LeBron was going to the Knicks back in July, and now 9 months later, he's playing for Miami (alongside Bosh and Wade) in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Bulls, another one of the teams I thought he was likely to join.
I still wish he stayed with Cleveland, they have some young pieces that are now starting to blossom, and maybe LeBron could have helped facilitate that. Anyways, he didn't, so no point in thinking too much about it. GO BULLS!!!
Anyways, I'll probably be posting at lot here, hopefully daily even. And it'll be about a whole bunch of random topics, depending on what's important to me at the time. So enjoy!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Chameleons
“Be yourself.” It’s a phrase that’s often thrown around, yet very few act upon it. I’m not talking about being yourself when it’s easy to (like when you’re a liberal talking about politics with other liberals), that doesn’t count. I’m talking about standing on your own two feet and backing yourself up around people who see things completely differently from you.
This post is going to sound very Holden Caulfield-ish, I’m just warning you. I sometimes find it odd how we try to mold ourselves to our surroundings. It’s as if we camouflage ourselves, so that we’re never the odd one out. Sometimes, it’s just something minor, like maintaining good etiquette or not being obnoxious at a professional event. However, these minor shifts are not what I’m writing about.
Some things are slightly pathetic, but forgivable: things like cussing more than you usually do around others who swear a lot too and desperately trying to crack a joke while your friends are joking around.
The more pitiful act of camouflage, however, is pretending to have values different to your own in order to agree with the people around you. Many friends of mine have tried to fit into conversations about topics they have no idea about (the main example is sports, but I’ve seen it happen in political discussions as well). Too many times have I been in a conversation with individuals who have different comfort levels with sex or alcohol. Person A brings up sex, while person B and C look down, pretending not to feel weird about it. Person X being scared to talk about stories with alcohol and marijuana because he thinks person Y and Z might think he’s a bad person for doing such things.
It’s fundamentally a fear of being different. But this is so fundamental that we have to examine why these fears are in place in order to tackle them one by one.
1) Fear that your unique traits aren’t sexually attractive
In the end, we’re all human. We all strive on finding a companion with whom we will have a relationship and (eventually) take part in sexual activity. I can feel some of you conservative individuals cringing at the thought that my first reason is related to sex, but that’s what our body really wants when we look at attractive individuals, and not “Ooh, shopping buddy!!!” We just convince ourselves that there are conscious feelings and thoughts attached to it, but in truth, attraction is something that’s completely subconscious. But oh, I digress…
Anyways, sometimes people try to modify their behavior to attract other individuals. Some men pretend to be much kinder than they are, in an attempt to seem chivalrous. Others may act more aggressively in order to seem more cool or macho. With women, on the other hand, some act cold and play “hard-to-get,” while others get their ditz on. Some things, like alcohol, are common with both sexes, as both men and women sometimes pretend they’re crazy about alcohol in an attempt to add to their “wild” side.
These are all things that the opposite sex (I’m not necessarily sure about same sex, because I don’t consider openly gay individuals as people who are scared to be themselves) can see through. And it’s quite pathetic.
I’m not going to discuss what specifically is attractive, as that changes a bit with each individual, but I’ve personally found individuals with a genuine passion for something very attractive, whatever that passion may be. And that’s just an observation, not a conscious thought.
2) Fear that your friends will not accept you (Social fears)
Every individual has different experiences. So no two people will have the exact same upbringing. I’m not going to say “if your friends don’t accept you, then they don’t deserve to have you as a friend,” that’s just too cliché for me. Rather, I must point out that people like it when you disagree with them every so often. It makes for interesting conversation, as opposed to “yeah, me too!” every single time something’s brought up. Hell, sometimes if you disagree, you can catch someone else bluffing if they start siding with you all of a sudden.
And more importantly, the bonds we make are more because of the experiences we’ve shared together than the ideologies we share. I used to think that there’s some sort of “core compatibility” that completely dictates how every relationship, platonic or not, goes. I’ve had a bit of a change of thought though, as I’ve come to realize that it’s more a bare minimum of common values, and once you hit that, values don’t mean much anymore.
Experiences do. That’s why I’ve bonded more with the people I’ve went drinking with one time (bro-ing out, haha) than the people I had small-talk with everyday for a year. That’s why students who work hard on something together (like a math assignment or… other similar things lol) feel so much more comfortable with one another when they succeed.
[there’s a bit of a similarity between 2 and 3, but 3 is meant to be an internal fear that applies to all conflicting values no matter who it is, while 2 is more about companionship]
3) Fear of voicing your own opinion/disagreement
This is the toughest one to deal with, really. There are a lot of people who may think something behind closed doors. They will say it to their friends. They will say it to people they know they agree with. But they just can’t say it to others. It’s a fear of confrontation, really. And it’s quite difficult to confront a fear of confrontation…
But really, it’s not confrontation; it’s discourse. Learning the reasoning of people who disagree with you is pivotal in learning, both specifically about the topic, and in general. Moreover, learning about opposing views gives you a chance to further develop your own views. And if you realize your old views were wrong, what’s so bad about that? We change, it’s something that naturally happens anyways.
On the other end, if the disagreement continues, and the confrontation gets worse, then so what. You have an enemy. But as Churchill said (and I think Eminem re-said?), "You've got enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something in your life."
I’m not sure why I wrote all that. Partly because I’m going through some changes, and partly because there are so many people I see every day that are guilty of chameleon-ing.
Let’s stop being phonies and be ourselves instead.
PS I know this post sounds very vague at times, but it would be much better if I was able to bring up specific examples, which I really don't want to do in a public post.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
LeBronaganza
So, today's supposed to be a really important day in the sports world. LeBron's announcing who he's playing for next year.
Firstly, I want to comment on how silly it was for LeBron to get a one-hour special JUST to say where he's playing. He is sending the message that he is above the rest of the NBA, which is completely untrue, as he has failed to win a championship on multiple occasions, and I can probably think of one player in the NBA who is more skilled than LeBron is. Plus, even if he was good enough to warrant a one-hour special on ESPN, I expect a certain level of humbleness and professionalism in the way superstars conduct these manners. I would refrain from watching the special to protest against his ridiculous attitude, but I kind of want to find out where he goes too, so I'll just make an angry blog post like many other people have already.
Secondly, I'm gonna make my official prediction. We'll see how accurate I rank them.
From least-likely to most-likely:
1) LA Clippers
LeBron is NOT going to be a clipper. He'll have to compete in the same market as Kobe, which he doesn't want to do.
2) New Jersey Nets
LeBron wants to win NOW, and wants to maintain the fame that he has NOW. Jersey's a weak team (even weaker than the spare parts in Cleveland), and they're not moving to Brooklyn until a few years from now. So, not gonna happen, no matter how tight LeBron is with Jay-Z.
3) Miami Heat
Here's where it gets interesting. Bosh and Wade are already in Miami. A lot of people are saying that LeBron will join them, so that they kill the rest of the league. I agree that IF they joined forces, the NBA would become a joke. But that's not gonna happen for a few reasons.
Firstly, there's salary cap issues. The only way this would work for Miami's salary stuff is if Chalmers and Beasley get traded to either Toronto or Cleveland in a sign and trade. And even if that does happen, then the total of the Big 3's salary would be at least 60 million, probably more, so the team would have about 10 million to spend to fill up the rest of the spots on the roster before they hit luxury tax territory, something that won't happen. And hell, even if it does happen, they're not going to win with 3 good players (all injury-prone) and a whole bunch of minimum-salary players. People assume that other players are going to take pay-cuts to join this team, but there are other teams that would still be able to compete with the Big 3 who are able to pay more in salaries, like Boston, Orlando, LA, and Oklahoma City.
Secondly, I'm going to examine the idea of creating a legend. I don't know about Wade and Bosh, but I can assure you that LeBron James wants to retire from the NBA as a legend and possibly the greatest player the game has seen. He will NOT do that if he wins championships with 2 other superstars; it'll just be the "Big 3", not King LeBron's team. Look at Boston, whose team is that? Also, it won't look good for his stats, and as much as you may think LeBron values winning, he also values his stats because he knows he can win anywhere (just because he's that good) and he'd like to be a perennial MVP candidate, something that won't necessarily happen if his shots and minutes are shared with Bosh and Wade.
Even if LeBron wants to go to Miami, the Miami management aren't going to allow it to happen, for salary reasons and because they want to build an entire TEAM.
4) Cleveland Cavaliers
There are two factors that could lead LeBron to staying in Cleveland. Firstly, there's the loyalty factor, and that's just a test of his personality. How much does he feel attached to Cleveland? We don't know, but it certainly didn't look like he was very attached when he was throwing that jersey off after his team got eliminated.
The second, and probably more important factor, is the legacy factor I mentioned above. A large majority of the best basketball players the world has ever seen stuck with one team all the way through. Larry Bird, Dr. J, Magic, Jordan. Legends. And that's exactly what LeBron wants to be. Also, keep in mind that he's been pretty close to winning a championship (I mean being 1st in the East twice in a row is a big deal, and he's been to a few conference finals).
I'm not sure if I see a return though.
5) Chicago Bulls
This is a good idea for LeBron. He's got great support in Boozer, Rose, Noah, and Deng, who can easily handle the pressure when LeBron's on the bench. A fairly big market. Home of Jordan.
LeBron probably would like the idea of adding to that Bulls legacy, however he may be intimidated by Jordan's legacy already being there. Jordan's pretty tough to top. The good thing is that he has teammates who are good enough to help him win championships but not good enough to take away from his legacy.
Also, there are salary cap issues with this, so a sign and trade would be necessary. However a sign and trade would be good both for Chicago and Cleveland, so it could work out.
6) NEW YORK KNICKS
This just fits his character. In SO many ways.
Roster-wise, they have Amare and Curry, plus a whole bunch of salary cap room to sign more depth players. New York hasn't won a title in forever, so LeBron could build a legacy there by breaking the slump. And hell, it's NYC.
It's estimated that he could get $1 BILLION in endorsements. That's right, LeBron could become a billionaire. That's something that ANY athlete would succumb to, including LeBron. Also, NYC is one of two centers of media attention in the US (LA being the other), so LeBron's "I-need-my-own-special-on-ESPN" attitude would fit in PERFECTLY.
It's a match made in heaven. LeBron James with the New York Knicks.
Another very important thing to look at, if it were a sign-and-trade, the GMs would have probably announced it by now, and since more people would be involved in the trade, there could've been leaks by now. And since it's difficult for LeBron James to announce his own sign-and-trade (GMs announce trades, not players), the chances of Chicago and Miami go down.
I guess we'll find out on "LeBron James: the Decision tonight."...
Firstly, I want to comment on how silly it was for LeBron to get a one-hour special JUST to say where he's playing. He is sending the message that he is above the rest of the NBA, which is completely untrue, as he has failed to win a championship on multiple occasions, and I can probably think of one player in the NBA who is more skilled than LeBron is. Plus, even if he was good enough to warrant a one-hour special on ESPN, I expect a certain level of humbleness and professionalism in the way superstars conduct these manners. I would refrain from watching the special to protest against his ridiculous attitude, but I kind of want to find out where he goes too, so I'll just make an angry blog post like many other people have already.
Secondly, I'm gonna make my official prediction. We'll see how accurate I rank them.
From least-likely to most-likely:
1) LA Clippers
LeBron is NOT going to be a clipper. He'll have to compete in the same market as Kobe, which he doesn't want to do.
2) New Jersey Nets
LeBron wants to win NOW, and wants to maintain the fame that he has NOW. Jersey's a weak team (even weaker than the spare parts in Cleveland), and they're not moving to Brooklyn until a few years from now. So, not gonna happen, no matter how tight LeBron is with Jay-Z.
3) Miami Heat
Here's where it gets interesting. Bosh and Wade are already in Miami. A lot of people are saying that LeBron will join them, so that they kill the rest of the league. I agree that IF they joined forces, the NBA would become a joke. But that's not gonna happen for a few reasons.
Firstly, there's salary cap issues. The only way this would work for Miami's salary stuff is if Chalmers and Beasley get traded to either Toronto or Cleveland in a sign and trade. And even if that does happen, then the total of the Big 3's salary would be at least 60 million, probably more, so the team would have about 10 million to spend to fill up the rest of the spots on the roster before they hit luxury tax territory, something that won't happen. And hell, even if it does happen, they're not going to win with 3 good players (all injury-prone) and a whole bunch of minimum-salary players. People assume that other players are going to take pay-cuts to join this team, but there are other teams that would still be able to compete with the Big 3 who are able to pay more in salaries, like Boston, Orlando, LA, and Oklahoma City.
Secondly, I'm going to examine the idea of creating a legend. I don't know about Wade and Bosh, but I can assure you that LeBron James wants to retire from the NBA as a legend and possibly the greatest player the game has seen. He will NOT do that if he wins championships with 2 other superstars; it'll just be the "Big 3", not King LeBron's team. Look at Boston, whose team is that? Also, it won't look good for his stats, and as much as you may think LeBron values winning, he also values his stats because he knows he can win anywhere (just because he's that good) and he'd like to be a perennial MVP candidate, something that won't necessarily happen if his shots and minutes are shared with Bosh and Wade.
Even if LeBron wants to go to Miami, the Miami management aren't going to allow it to happen, for salary reasons and because they want to build an entire TEAM.
4) Cleveland Cavaliers
There are two factors that could lead LeBron to staying in Cleveland. Firstly, there's the loyalty factor, and that's just a test of his personality. How much does he feel attached to Cleveland? We don't know, but it certainly didn't look like he was very attached when he was throwing that jersey off after his team got eliminated.
The second, and probably more important factor, is the legacy factor I mentioned above. A large majority of the best basketball players the world has ever seen stuck with one team all the way through. Larry Bird, Dr. J, Magic, Jordan. Legends. And that's exactly what LeBron wants to be. Also, keep in mind that he's been pretty close to winning a championship (I mean being 1st in the East twice in a row is a big deal, and he's been to a few conference finals).
I'm not sure if I see a return though.
5) Chicago Bulls
This is a good idea for LeBron. He's got great support in Boozer, Rose, Noah, and Deng, who can easily handle the pressure when LeBron's on the bench. A fairly big market. Home of Jordan.
LeBron probably would like the idea of adding to that Bulls legacy, however he may be intimidated by Jordan's legacy already being there. Jordan's pretty tough to top. The good thing is that he has teammates who are good enough to help him win championships but not good enough to take away from his legacy.
Also, there are salary cap issues with this, so a sign and trade would be necessary. However a sign and trade would be good both for Chicago and Cleveland, so it could work out.
6) NEW YORK KNICKS
This just fits his character. In SO many ways.
Roster-wise, they have Amare and Curry, plus a whole bunch of salary cap room to sign more depth players. New York hasn't won a title in forever, so LeBron could build a legacy there by breaking the slump. And hell, it's NYC.
It's estimated that he could get $1 BILLION in endorsements. That's right, LeBron could become a billionaire. That's something that ANY athlete would succumb to, including LeBron. Also, NYC is one of two centers of media attention in the US (LA being the other), so LeBron's "I-need-my-own-special-on-ESPN" attitude would fit in PERFECTLY.
It's a match made in heaven. LeBron James with the New York Knicks.
Another very important thing to look at, if it were a sign-and-trade, the GMs would have probably announced it by now, and since more people would be involved in the trade, there could've been leaks by now. And since it's difficult for LeBron James to announce his own sign-and-trade (GMs announce trades, not players), the chances of Chicago and Miami go down.
I guess we'll find out on "LeBron James: the Decision tonight."...
Introduction to my blog.
My life has become so routine. 9-5 work everyday. I do basically the same stuff at work everyday, mundane entry-level work that requires little to no thought. Then I go home, eat, watch some TV, go to bed. I wake up the next morning. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I have come to realize that I'm not actually a "same-shit-every-day" person, and I feel that with each day of the routine I complete, my life is becoming more and more boring. Luckily, I've managed to compensate by doing some interesting things to pass time, like reading Machiavelli or getting back into classic rock. I've also taken some time out of my boring life to sit down and think. Think about myself. Think about the people around me. Think about the world as a whole.
Sadly, I let all those thoughts go to waste the past two months, so any thing that pops into my head goes straight onto this blog, for the rest of the world to see. Hopefully, you gain something from reading these posts, and hopefully I gain something from examining your commentary of my posts.
Live long and prosper.
- V
I have come to realize that I'm not actually a "same-shit-every-day" person, and I feel that with each day of the routine I complete, my life is becoming more and more boring. Luckily, I've managed to compensate by doing some interesting things to pass time, like reading Machiavelli or getting back into classic rock. I've also taken some time out of my boring life to sit down and think. Think about myself. Think about the people around me. Think about the world as a whole.
Sadly, I let all those thoughts go to waste the past two months, so any thing that pops into my head goes straight onto this blog, for the rest of the world to see. Hopefully, you gain something from reading these posts, and hopefully I gain something from examining your commentary of my posts.
Live long and prosper.
- V
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